I sang terribly a few nights ago and I am not talking about the Standard Bank Joy of Jazz festival. I sang at a small event in my home town in front of my mother and sister and things did not go as planned. I got nervous, did not connect with the audience – you name it, I did it. Sure I recovered and started over again. But that is not what I will remember – in my head.
I think it’s just the way we are programmed as humans. We remember the mistakes with greater accuracy. Often embellishing it more along the way. And don’t you just hate the continuous action replay that goes on mentally? Lol!
The irony is that I can’t really remember what I did on stage at the Joy of Jazz even though I would class it as one of my musical highlights so far. Everyone experiences a moment where they think, “Is this really real?” The entire week spent with the Gauteng Big Band felt like that. Everyone made me feel at home and reminded me why I always dreamed of being a musician.
So even though I had a minute of “what-the-fuck just happened” at the gig last night I won’t let it replay in my head for too long. I will take the Montreux approach instead. That amounts to “shit happens and you better learn from it girlie”.
Lord knows I did not bring the house down at the Joy of Jazz festival. I was also the least experienced. And honestly I don’t give a rat’s ass about that either. Being on that stage felt so good. So instead of having a action replay of the “bad” gig….this time round I choose to think about Bra Johnny, Bra Stompie, Prince, Khaya, Andile, Hendrik, Mlungisi, Sydney and all the kids they mentor. Then to make it even sweeter I will think of just how good it felt to be home with my husband, daughter and annoying cats…lol! Nothing better…