Auriol Hays

Awareness through music

Archive for December, 2010

Lars and the Real Girl

You read all kinds of crazy stories if you hang out on the web long enough. “Man marries his cow” or “Man wants to marry his Christmas tree”.  Sometimes you have to wonder what the hell’s going on with some men these days. I really liked the movie Lars and the Real Girl, simply because it raised some  thought provoking questions about what is regarded as real or having value. To those mad men that tree and cow most certainly have value…lol!

I think that we are all guilty, to a certain extent, of falling in love with an idea. Right now I am besotted with the idea of cooking and baking. So much so that I have a book and pen right next to the TV in case I see something juicy on the Food Channel. But let’s face it – not all ideas should be pursued. Some ideas are just bad through and through. If you are not careful they cloud your thinking making it impossible to act decisively.

Just the other day I spoke to Jen, the Shaman, and she showed me how to deal with those pesky ideas that give me no peace. “Let’s give these thoughts a form” she suggested. The image of a turkey came to mind. The second I saw that ugly turkey and was able to associate all the negative thoughts I had with it, I burst out laughing! In that instant the power the thought held over me was gone. I could always threaten that turkey with Gordon Ramsay if I needed to…

This last year has been the most stressful and successful I have had to deal with. On the music front it has been great. I can proudly say I sang in front of 15 000 people and was not that scared. The best gig was not Montreux but singing on a game reserve for 6 days. I have a few plans  – which include a new album and a new baby. But right now I must be honest and say that I Love the Food Channel and all its sadistic cooking shows. Seeing those turkeys get stuffed, pricked, sliced, diced and eventually eaten is deeply, deeply satisfying…

posted by auriol in life in general and have No Comments

Stir it Up

I said some nasty things to someone a few days ago. It’s hard to be nice to someone who is drinking themselves to death.

I constantly ask myself – why can’t they see where all this bullshit will get them? Just as I am on the verge of hurling all the swear words I know – I remember that it’s not my life – but theirs. So I detach myself and step back…

We all struggle to keep our boundaries intact – even on the good days. I once knew someone who could successfully talk about themselves for hours on end. I thought this was admirable and fun – for a little while but I cut them off and out.  My husband says I am mercenary at times…

Being a good friend, wife, mother and even musician requires that you listen intently to what people say – more so when they can’t find the words. I don’t have self involved friends but there are those who require more of my time and I give it. Hell, they were there for me when I wanted to throw myself off the nearest cliff! It’s the least I can do. But there are certain things I cannot have in my life…

The alcoholic in the making is one of them. I am not rude to them anymore. I don’t love or care any less… but there are times when things have to be said and the law laid down. Understanding and even empathy can only get you so far. And when strange people come into my life I ask myself what I can learn from them first before giving the kill order and sending my men out to do my dirty work…

posted by auriol in sanity's overrated and have Comment (1)

Mao’s Last Dancer

I have good parents. They did what they could with me. I didn’t do anything extra circular and spent most of my time with my mother. Music, art and dance were the furthest things from my mind. All I knew was the life I had in between my four walls and for a long time that was enough.

Then music came along and ruined everything. I didn’t want to run away to foreign places or dream of fancy clothes and money. I just wanted to be more of myself and knew that music was somehow involved.

The last time I sat in front of a psychic she remarked that my love of masks reveals a great deal about me. She did have a point, of course. So much of what I feel is left unsaid or concealed. Through music I can say and feel more. There is freedom there. So when the lead character in the movie Mao’s Last Dancer remarked that he dances his best in America because he feel more free – it resonated throughout my body.

I remembered that I sing my best when I feel free enough. A while back I had a freak out because I was away from home. I could not think straight lest of all sing properly. After some great Zen advice in under less than 140 characters, I made an important decision. I cannot allow fearful emotions to overwhelm me and drag me into an imaginary and nightmarish future. I need to be present so I can feel free, sing better and not loose my bladdy mind…

Sure, sure I have to let go of my hang ups and be more honest about what I need in my life and make some hard decisions. You will be glad to know that I have removed a great deal of the masks in my house and replaced them with colourful paintings. That is a good start, I think…

posted by auriol in human nature and have No Comments