Humans are fragile  and when love gets thrown into that mix all hell breaks loose. After watching 13 Going on 30 with my daughter I tried to have a serious conversation with her about love. “Darling, there are men who will sing for you or write crazy poems about you. Some just can’t express that love.” As those words left my mouth I wondered what I was really telling her…

Expect little from people – that’s my motto. I guess I don’t want her to have unrealistic expectations. People aren’t perfect. The biggest mistakes end up being the best teachers– especially in matters of the heart. “I want you to have and be better than I am or could be…” Isn’t that what every parent wishes for?

My poor child! I wonder what she is learning about the nature of love from me. What did my mother teach me, I wondered? She taught me how to keep myself safe and think independently. It’s not that she left me to my own devices. Even as I child I was always off on my own trying to figure things out. She just gave me the space to do it.

And love? Love is perplexing. I hate hearing silly clichés about love or people bragging about their perfect lover. Love, I want to shout at them, is hard. It takes more than a bunch of flowers or a perfect evening sipping on red wine to seal the deal. I guess that’s why I never could write a song about love because it would require great honesty and not everyone wants to hear that kind of song. So I never bothered writing it until something unexpected happened…

Lionel Bastos wrote a song for me. He is one of the most talented songwriters and remarkable human beings I have come across. And he gifted me with the most sincere song I will ever get to sing. “Sometimes I may falter, sometimes I may fall but I get back beside you every time”. Roses and grand gestures are nice but those lines….those lines….that’s love. Take a listen here….

I don’t understand why porn movies have these bad movie titles. Like this one: Sharing is Caring at Camp Starfish or Monsters of Cock. I suppose the producers want you to know what you are getting yourself in for – no mess no fuss. Now forgive me for being prissy here but someone needs to have a chat with whoever’s in charge of naming these movies.

I like to think that most women like being eased into things…or maybe that’s just me.  Sexuality, the toe curling, it’s- so- bad-that’s-why-it-feels-good stuff, is a complex business. Most of the time women don’t know why they like what they like or what the real meaning behind their particular fetishes are. And society’s general lack of honesty, moralizing and double standards do not make it any easier either…

I am so tired of sex being viewed as something dirty and disgusting. On some level I do think that this disgust is reflected in those very same movie titles or the bad erotic stories you find in porn magazines. Have you ever read (or skimmed for those who won’t admit to anything) these works of “literature”? It’s sad and rather hilarious! Why can’t they hire talented writers or am I being unreasonable here? And you have to give credit where credit’s due. The porn industry can be very creative too. I laughed when I saw the porn version of Avatar!

Still why do we have to feel “dirty” and “bad” or dose ourselves with alcohol or even worse drugs to admit to our dark carnal cravings? Sex (to my thinking) is linked to emotions- repressed or not. To own your sexuality is a life time commitment and requires a great deal of honesty about who you are and what you need. And I would rather spend time getting to grips with that than sifting through dodgy porn and getting off on other people’s fantasies. Does this mean I will get rid of certain….toys? Well….I will get back to you on that one….