What chance did Amy Winehouse really stand? Most of us have disappointed a few people in our lives and bounced back. Now imagine millions of people expecting nothing but the worse of you. That has an impact somewhere and we would be fools if we thought that it did not affect Amy.
Let’s leave her alone for a second and be real with each other. We are all judgmental. I try to resist my inner bitch, honestly I do. It is just so hard to not offer an opinion. Sometimes I catch myself and am disgusted by my behavior. “Is this who you are Auriol?” I ask myself. No, I would not want someone to talk smack about me so I need to stop. I am currently monitoring myself rather closely, you’ll be glad to know…
Judging others is easy because “it means you do not have to look at your own issues” Margaret McElroy said on a recent radio show. I agree with Margaret on this. I have a group of close friends and I am very involved in their lives. I tell myself that my motives are pure. I love and care about them. However, I do have to question my behavior in that arena also. How much of what I am saying is projection or based on some real or imaginary fear? I am I avoiding things in my own life because they seemingly “need” me?
Even if I am aware of some of the new age thinking around this troublesome notion of non judgment putting it into practice is another kettle of fish altogether. I once heard it said that we can only evolve spiritually if we emotionally detach ourselves from people and all their dramas. If you are dealing with addiction or are in an abusive relationship being emotionally detached does seem impossible. Rani Manicker, author of The Rice Mother, wrote “It is human nature to want the dark side of the moon.” Not only is it human nature it just happens to be a lot easier. And we humans are lazy!
So Amy didn’t really stand a chance. I am not excusing her behavior simply because it is not my place to. The fact is just that you have to be made of sterner stuff to withstand such collective energy. And what if…what if she was meant to fail…so I could be having this conversation with you?