A friend of mine once said that happiness is selfish. You have to claim what you want and need. Most of us don’t though. We lie about who we are, what we are capable of giving and hope that no one catches us out.
The universe has a funny way of letting you know what’s up when you are too busy to pay attention. Strange things happen. Accidents, bad mojo and, in my case, a lot of confusing dreams. Once I was uncertain of a choice I had to make. I remember being in the car and silently asked for guidance. The answer came in a very unexpected way. Every light for at least 10 minutes was red. The answer could not have been clearer.
Sometimes I gain clarity through music. I have been accused of writing too many sad songs. I do this, I think, to confront and rid myself of my fears. By writing music I take what’s in my head and heart and …somehow am able to see myself clearly. The results are often a revelation “Damn! I didn’t know I felt that way!”
With each song I write and experience I have I come to understand what happiness could be and every morning ask for three things. That I am able to love myself and others sincerely. I got a wake up call when my daughter casually remarked, “Why do you always look so disgusted when you look in the mirror?” Dang kids…some of them are too observant and should be shot.
Then I ask for awareness. If I am not aware of my own shortcoming and why I sabotage myself it will be pointed out to me by others time and time again. That is not a pleasant experience. I link my flaws and blind spots to childhood conditioning. As I grow older I discovered that a great deal of what I was taught is no longer relevant. I need to adjust and reassess and find new ways of being. Love, happiness and abundance have many different forms and all I need to do is spot them in time.
The last thing I ask for is music. Not only the ability to make music but to hear it in others. In the way they speak, the things they share, the food they make…their laughter, the things they can’t say. That, to me, is an act of love.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi, was one smart dude.