Auriol Hays

Awareness through music

Archive for July, 2012

The New Music Video – A BETTER MAN

And here it is! I am so proud of everyone who worked on this music video.

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Draft One of the new CD

This is what the new cd will look like. We decided to include the song written for the Carrefour ad as well.  I’s not on the track listing of the cd. That is why this is the first draft. I rather like the look of it so far..

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I never liked Kiefer Sutherland until I watched the show Touch. In it he is the father to an autistic child who sees meaning in numbers. At the end of the show all these patterns coalesce to reveal some greater truth. They call it the Road Map. I always believed in the idea that we are guided in some form or fashion. If I look at my life, and specifically the music I have been writing, an ugly and sad truth emerges. I have been writing my way out of my marriage for years but because I refused to do anything the s**t  had to hit the fan.

Sometimes looking at that road map sucks balls! We all know what it is we need to do. Yet sometimes a bit of pushing, shoving and a hard BANG! on, across and over the head is needed to direct us. Let’s face it; humans are lazy! If we don’t need to do something we won’t. We will cruise along even if the world is ending. If we can’t see it, smell it, touch it – it isn’t there. Connecting those dots on the road map was always easier when music was involved. Maybe it’s because I have great trust that I will always be where I need to be. The problem is seeing those dots and patterns in other areas of my life…

Still why is it so hard to accept things as they are? To allow matters to unfold and just observe without getting emotionally entangled? Very often when we are presented with a certain set of events we want to change and tweak them to our specifications AND see what we want to see. Saying “I accept this. No more, no less” seems terribly hard to do. Being a typical Scorpio I always look for ulterior motives. But do you know what really gives me sleepless nights?  When I ask myself  “Why would you think that Auriol? What does that say about who you are and what you believe?”

Hell, you can’t control any other human being. I think we just have to accept that fact already! However, if you take that crucial step and start questioning your own motivations you could be spared a lot of grief. If I know myself and what matters then what another does cannot affect me that much can it? Well, that’s the general idea anyway. Again, my approach is a bit more balanced. Allow me to explain…

If someone stole something I valued deeply, a year ago, I would be on the way path before you can say Bobs-your-uncle! The troops would be rallied; the guns and ammo loaded and before the night was over…trust me… someone’s blood would be splattered all over the walls! No, I am not being dramatic. Just call my sister. However, the last year taught me a valuable lesson about restraining my emotions. Before I have a volcanic emotional reaction –  I pause. I pause and reflect long enough to see a few dots on that road map. And if I can’t I call up a friend who has better eye sight.

By doing that I not only keep myself sane but my poor sister also! I have been taught to look at a situation and not to react. First I pause and I try to see the bigger picture. Once I am armed with that truth – then I respond. Now this does not mean I am all “zen- buddha- peace-love-and-happiness”. If you mess with me I will kick your ass!…if I think I should. There’s a time to take up arms and a time for peace. Everything in its right place – just as Radiohead says…

So if I take a look at those dots on my road map right now I have reason to be optimistic. My life is expanding. I can see love on its way ….a lot more music…more good people….and even (wait for it!) the possibly another hamster for my daughter. Shoo, just don’t tell her that or she will drag me to the pet shop and I won’t hear the end of it!

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I enjoy watching people. All kinds of people – all the time. Trust me it helps my songwriting. My sister says I am plain nosy. Also, now that I am no longer married I tend to watch more intently. In fact I taken a few friends aside and said, “Listen, I have to tell you something….” I wish I could switch off the urgency to share what I feel.

My sister made me laugh a few days ago when she spoke of her fiancé. “This man likes romantic comedies! He buys roses and does this touchy feely crap. I don’t know what to do with him anymore.” My sister is very hardcore, rarely shows her true feelings yet happens to be dating someone who is overly emotional. Would you like to know what my response to her man’s outpouring of emotion was? “Dude, that is so gay! Last time I checked he didn’t look thirteen!” After almost collapsing on the floor with laughter she said, ““Dude, it took me a while to realize that he shows he loves me in this way. I might think it’s a bit weird but I have learnt to accept it. And it is rather nice.”

I am shocked at how easily people meander into relationships or even casual sex. Granted I joke a lot about jumping men but run when approached by them.  Surely time is needed to process and heal? I am not about to bash the ex in case that crossed your mind. I am no longer interested in who he failed to be but rather why I chose to behave the way I did. Once I understand the why’s and how’s then maybe…

I am very clear about how I would like to be treated and how I hope to make the man in my life feel. I no longer need to look back at the ex and think, “I will never allow this…or never again for that…” If I had to be honest there was a great many things about him I admired and those are the memories I will hold on too. I will do that not for him or even my daughter – but to honour a relationship that defined me for the longest time…

So for now will watch and reflect. It’s a bit like Christmas shopping. I can look at people in a relationship and say, “Yes, I like that! No, that will never do. Ooh, that is rather nice!” I am in no rush and truthfully nowhere near ready. And just to be clear I would slap any man who wanted to watch a romantic comedy or give me roses. That is just too boring and terribly gay..

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Music Video News

…And this just in…the music video for A BETTER MAN will go live very soon! I am very happy with the final edit. This is my favourite music video so far…and not just because I got the hell kissed out of me

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