Auriol Hays

Awareness through music

Psychic Junkie

I ‘ ll come clean and admit that I was a junkie….and not just any junkie but a psychic junkie. I remember my first hit as though it was yesterday. Her name was Marie and she lived in Observatory, Cape Town. I got her number from a local newspaper and decided to go for a reading. I mean what was the worst that could happen? I remember arriving at her gate feeling sweaty and anxious. I just didn’t know what to expect. Just before I knocked on her door I peeked into my bag one last time…money…check…list of questions to be answered double check. I took a deep breath and waited…

The first thing I saw as I walked into her house was a collection of Native American artifacts and chicken feet scattered in strategic spots. I later discovered that neither belonged to her. She took me to the lounge where the smell of incense filled the room. Once I was comfortably seated she did a number of things that I found rather strange. Finally the reading had begun….and an hour later I walked out there a bull blown addict.

I was fascinated by the idea that someone out there had all the answers to my questions. I kept replaying the reading in my head over and over again. “Canada in 3 years”, “a career in music” “another son”. All these claims seemed rather outrageous…How could I ever be a musician? I had no training. Heck I didn’t have any job to speak of and I didn’t know any musicians! Then again just how did she know about the shoes I bought a few days ago or my aunt who recently died? She “read” me as though she knew me and offered a great deal of advice which (after careful consideration) I decided to follow. The next few weeks proved rather eventful. Everything she predicted happened.

I had so many questions juggling around in my mind. How was I going to get to Canada and when would I meet those key people who would drive my music career? I wondered if she got it wrong or whether I was doing something to prevent those events from occurring. The longer I thought about these questions the more unsure I became of myself and my future prospects. As badly as I wanted my questions answered I didn’t have the cash to see Marie again. So I did the next best thing. I nursed my addiction by devouring every book, article or interview where the word psychic was mentioned. Every Saturday afternoon I could be found loitering around the occult section of Cape Town library. Then I hit the second hand book shops in Long Street. Modern technology fed my addiction even more. I discovered an internet based radio show in the US that dealt exclusively with esoteric matters. They introduced me to the world of trance mediums, channeled teaching and ascended masters. When I discovered that I all I had to do to get a reading was purchase an internet phone. I ended up getting my fix whenever I wanted it – and this time it cost me nothing!

Every time I felt unsure or had to make a big decision in my life I lunged for the phone and scheduled a hit. Sometimes in person and sometimes over the net…and as any addict will tell you finding a dealer is never a problem. Finding the right quality of product always is. I could get a mediocre reading for R250 or R500. In the psychic field the price of a reading guarantees nothing. This time Susan in Rondebosch was my dealer of choice. Marie cut me off – she knew I was an addict and would not take anymore of my money. I knew that things were out of hand when I couldn’t go to a holistic fair with money in my pocket anymore…

One morning I woke up and I knew that my endless trips to psychics were over. The need to know every little detail of my future was gone. I realized that I had no more withdrawals, no more cravings and hadn’t touched my internet phone in months! If I look back at my life as a junkie I will be honest and say that it did not happen over night. Something rather profound happened when I walked through Marie’s doors so long ago. I realized that there are so many truths out there and some were rather strange even by my standards! All I had to do was decide what my truth was and live it. That may sound easy but getting to that truth was not.

Being a psychic junkie made me wonder about the reality of  so many things. It forced me to look at the way I was living and how I go there. I did a lot of investigating into the way I was conditioned by my culture, religion and society at large. Then I came the real hard work… deciding whether those beliefs served me or not and replacing them with ideas and beliefs that did. In the process I shed some friends and made some hard decisions.  Life had become more peaceful. Three years later and I am a working musician (who still lives in South Africa) with only one daughter…

I don’t regret being a psychic junkie. Marie gave me the courage to follow my passion and become the musician I always dreamed of being. Hopping from one psychic to the other also taught me to stop searching the skies for signs. I learnt to listen to my own voice, make up my mind about what I wanted and then work towards it. In short….I grew up. And when I do feel lost or unsure I no longer reach for the phone. I simply walk into my garden with my cup of coffee…toes in the sun and then wait for the answer…

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