If only life were perfect and everything made sense. Well, I suppose if it did there would be no reason to be alive. Everything would be ideal. There would be nothing to get excited or angry about. No reason to fight or love as passionately. Life would be inexpressibly boring and we wouldn’t get anywhere. Still no matter how hard you try to be “good” or live a “decent” life Drama eventually finds everyone….
I recently asked my best friend to answer some questions truthfully. He looked at me and said, “Auriol, being honest doesn’t always help. The answers to those questions are not pretty and they are far from right.” Does the right or wrongness of “it”‘ (whatever “it” may be) ever quell the desire? We all know what we should and should not do…but emotions are a funny thing. As much as you wish you could shut them off – you can only run for so long.
Sometimes you just want to shake people violently and shout, “Wake up, damn you!” because we can see that the Drama has consumed them. They have no more fight in them – their balls have been psychically removed. So all they are left with is maybe’s, what if’s and if-I-only-did-that and- took- a- chance. Those lurking questions are torture yet it is surprising how normal torment can become once dreams and desires are buried – and eventually with time - forgotten altogether.
So when all else fails I find a quiet space…close my eyes….allow the images to surface ….and say yes to those consuming emotions and desires. When I am ready I release them. With every note I sing for absolution…