Auriol Hays

“Stop pestering me for new episodes of True Blood! There are more important things to worry about” says the husband. It’s at moments like this that I wonder, “Does this man truly understand me?” LOL! Of course there are better things to worry about. Poverty, war,  the looming oil crisis, our bills that need to get paid – yes, all the really good stuff. Now don’t get me wrong I do worry about those things – but just not in my free time! And if you know me you would know that I love a good movie or tv series…

Last week I finally got the chance to watch INCEPTION. My sister’s mind was buzzing all over the place as we stepped out of the cinema.  There are many theories going around about the meaning of the movie.  I prefer the theory put forward by Devin Faracio on Chud.com . The idea that the movie itself is one collective dream that we are all sharing.

Now, I love my dreams! Most of the time I don’t remember them but every now and then I have a dream that changes the way I think about everything. It changes everything because the idea itself seems so crazy. Like the one I had about being a musician years ago. I reckon that’s why I am going to buy this movie as soon as it’s out on DVD, because DeCaprio’s character was right when he said, “A single idea from the human mind can build cities. An idea can transform the world and rewrite all the rules.” It has for me…

Just this morning I woke up from a dream and said, “Shit, I hate visiting that place” Yes, I need to think about that dream or if all else fails call up my best friend who seems to know my mind better than I do at times…lol!

I could also relate when DeCaprio’s character said,” I can access your mind through your dreams.” Like I said I am going with the theory that he is dreaming throughout the entire movie. Each character is a projection of his mind. And so he learns the nature of his mind through his dreams…That movie, like this life, is the ultimate dream within a dream, within a dream…

Years ago after watching THE MATRIX, some guy ahead of me said, “What if this life we are living is not real?” I just shook my head and thought, “Of course it’s not real you fool! We are just dreaming it up as we go along” Yes, I was very tolerant all those years ago…lol!

This is why I love movies. Simply because the things we watch, just like our dreams, can give us clues to what’s going on in our mind…

I tend to get very introspective when watching horror movies. I don’t think about the special effects or the quality of the scares on screen. As I get older I realise that I am not as good or nice as I would like to think I am – and horrors remind me of that little fact.

A few days ago I asked my daughter if she would ever torture and kill someone. “No way, Mummy!” I then told her about the prisoners held at the Baghdad Correctional Facility and how normal, good people tortured and killed those supposed “bad guys”. “What is it that made them do that?” I asked. They didn’t just pop out of their mother’s wombs evil. Being a funny 10 years old she came up with a bunch of crazy ideas – none of which I found amusing at the time.

Then I brought Lucifer into the mix. I actually felt bad that she knew so little…lol! I explained how Lucifer transformed from an angel to a demon. That if you look at that idea a bit closer…we all have the capacity to be transformed into something we don’t want to be – if we are not careful.

This is why I think vampires, werewolves and all the supernatural beings in books and movies captivate people. We all have our own demons to fight…and seeing others kill theirs off in fun and creative ways can’t be all bad, can it? lol!

In this world there are so many people who would have her believe their story and live accordingly. I don’t want my daughter to be a good girl who follows rules blindly. I encourage her to throw things at boys who cheese her off…to hurl a few nasty words at girls who are bitchy and to always , always make up her own mind.

All I can do is hope that a bit of the stuff I talk about sticks in that funny brain…and that by teaching it I remember it myself.

I just watched the movie with my daughter and was rather upset by the experience. It wasn’t the movie or the acting. It was the realisation that I am loosing my daughter. Becoming a mother at 21 does strange things to your head. It changes the way you look at everything. It took me a while to realise that she was just the start of everything…

So I created a host of imaginary friends for her, a radio station  that only aired when we were in the bath together. After a few months it was taken over by a multi- national and became a news station.  We would pretend to be rappers – she would rap and I would beat box. All her favourite bedtime stories were turned into musicals, we read all the Dr Seuss books in Woodstock library and threw all her dolls into the air like lunatics while singing a made up song about gravity.

As I watched that movie I realised that soon there will be no one to read to. No one to play Director-Director with, no one to force onto the Chair of Doom. No new dolls that would have to pass the crazy rules implemented by the Head of Security – the unicorn A-moonious Ra – before gaining entry into her room.

And yes, it does make me fee better knowing that only yesterday I got her to taste my face mask (while still on my face) by convincing her that it was made of cream…lol! My daughter filled my life with all kinds of magic and now she is growing up

Am I worried? Of course. Soon she will be a teenager. I know how unreachable I was back then and how long it took me to find my way back to my mother. But then again, I am not half as crazy as my mother still is, so there might be hope. After all my daughter is the best choice I have made so far.

I hate people who play games…and not the fun sexual kind either. I am talking about people who intentionally play mind games….. One movie I rather enjoyed was “Thank you for Smoking.” The guy was a spin doctor….and while I enjoyed it I felt rather sad. I knew that some people were going to watch that and aspire to that level of bullshit talking. Sure, being able to read people comes in handy…..if you are very smart you can get your way with them….but here’s my question…for how long and to what end? The way I look at it….there is greater strength in being honest than bullshitting your way through life. Can you hear the condemnation and righteousness in my voice? It annoys me because I know that if I wanted to I could use those techniques and get my way. Still if there is one thing I realized it is this…people will allow you to bullshit them for only so long. After that…you are nothing but an asshole and a liar.

I know of a few people who have bullshitteded their way through their entire lives. These are the people that I cautiously step away from. Still, everyone learns at their own pace, don’t they? And I am not saying that to sound smug. Like I said I did the same thing once and that is why it irks me so much…

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

“All that you have feared, been angry about, emotionally upset about, this is energy not dealt with. Negative energy, trapped from incarnation to incarnation. Some of you have had this energy within you for thousands of years, terrified to let go of it, and the Self has had a celebration each incarnation at how it can use it to stop you moving on spiritually and freeing yourself from the earth plane.

Spiritual development is about looking at this energy, whatever it may be, anger, fear, doubt, insecurity, dissatisfaction, jealousy, and many more emotions. Controlling the emotional body is the only way to raise the vibration. The Prophet Jesus said, “Go within, all is within”. Why did he say this? He said it because he knew also that the key to heaven, rapture, paradise, peace, nirvana whatever you wish to call it, lay inside one’s inner being, and the control of the emotional body.

The purpose of the life journey is to release this negative energy. Throughout your life, teachers will come, people will mirror for you, and lessons will be given you. The usual response when we see these people is to run away, we do not wish to face whatever it is that we have to see. For those few who do stay; who do face the issues; the release of this energy from the emotional body causes a raise in vibration, and as the soul rises above the illusion of the Earth plane, it begins to see the futility of wasting energy; the futility of all negative energy. It is only then that the soul will begin to find peace. It is then that fulfillment will become a part of life. When there will be a peace that passes all of your understanding. Every soul can have fulfillment, can have the rapture. It will not come in being transported to heaven on a cloud, it has to be earned through facing all of the negative issues locked away in the subconscious mind. Then and only then, will one find true fulfillment. “

I remember watching Beowulf with my then 8 year old. I know….clearly a mistake on my part. All she did was shout and say, “I don’t want to watch this.” And after about 15 minutes I agreed with her. Her reaction is typical…well, if you know my daughter it is. I got the same reaction when I wanted to talk about the Nazis and WW2. She could not believe that people would treat people like that. In fact she started crying. I realized that if I wanted to talk to her about human behavior (the “bad” stuff) I was going to have to try another angle completely. I would have to frame it in a way that makes sense to her. I love it when situations present themselves so I can share something with her. A few days ago I spoke of Dr Jack Kevorkian who assisted people in committing suicide. I tried as best as I could to show her both sides…the why’s and why nots. Then I asked her what her thoughts were. I used a technique called the Thinking Hats and asked her put on a different one in order to gain a different perspective. Now some might say that I am being too hasty. She will learn all that when she is older. This is not my view. I think it is my job, as a parent, to help her understand the way humans behave….to understand the psychology behind it.

No one told me any of this until I was a teenager and then, honestly, I didn’t really care. I am teaching her things that I only recently learned but already she is way ahead of me. Children, by their very nature, know more about compassion than we give them credit for. They are more balanced and in tune with their true nature than we are. I told her that it is her job (the most important thing) that she live a life that she is happy with….Yes, I do this because I do not want her to make the same mistakes I did. After all….all any parent wants for their child is that they live their life on their terms. Sure…she is going to give me hell when she becomes a teenager….I wouldn’t expect anything less. After all I taught her to think for herself..

I recently watched the movie “HORTEN HEARS A WHOO” and I loved every second of it. A friend and I use to write to each other often and I would always jot down a few lines from a Dr. Sues book to make a point. I found (ask any parent) that his books always contain that something extra…..if you look closely enough. I find that most children’s stories tend to mask some truth and I love telling my daughter about the “real meaning” behind the story. And yes, sometimes she thinks I am just talking a lot of crap! Okay, back to the movie…..the antagonist was the kangaroo that did not want Horton’s ideas to catch fire and spread throughout the jungle. His idea being that on this spec there exists a whole other world. Her line was….”if you can’t feel it, touch it or see it – then it’s not real”. How many times have people (and by that I mean people in power) tried to either explain away or straight out deny the existence of anything beyond their understanding? I know that I can’t even talk to some people about the idea of angels or ascended beings. They just freak out…..because it does not coincide with their own beliefs or ideas found in the bible or church doctrine at all. There fore it has no validity. This does not make them right or me wrong either….

I tell my daughter all the time that everything we see ….all the physical objects around us…..once existed in someone’s imagination. That’s where everything starts……and in that realm (beyond the physical) the potential for everything exists. Like a ball of clay we use our imagination to shape our lives and bring those experiences we want or don’t want into our lives. You create it. Now this is a good thing and a bad thing. I use certain tools to keep me on track. Aside from physically doing the work I keep myself mentally attuned to my goals all the time. And in that way I get to see results much faster. Also it makes me feel less anxious. But…..If I have to look at my life now I would have to say that I lost the plot a bit, to be quite honest. Sometimes I think that I am busy living my life the way I want it. After all I have access to all this information……but then one day I woke up and realized that things are not as I would like them to be. I have simply allowed my fears to go underground. I stopped being aware of them…..stopped seeing how, when I allows my fears full reign, they sabotage me and stop me from getting those things I desire. And because I was not consciously aware of them…..I let things get out of hand. So I did not focus so much on my goals. In fact I forgot about them, did not give it so much energy…..and as a result became a bit disenchanted with everything around me.

I am one of those people that have to understand why I act the way I do and identify the triggers. Sometimes I get the answers in a flash and at other times it really does take ages. One of the ways I knew I lost the plot was that I had very odd dreams. The most telling one was where I was on (wait for it…) and island where a plane crashed. I could see a bit of it sticking out of a mountain. There I was waiting at the port of the island when I saw this big ass wave (a tsunami) coming towards me. It knocked me over and pulled me into the sea. And while I was in the water, I got caught in a piece of debris from a wrecked car. I was stuck in it. I somehow get out of it and back on land….and did not seem to be all that fazed. Now I loved this dream because bits of my favorite show (LOST) got a spot in my dream. And when I woke up I knew that the dream showed exactly what I felt like but did not acknowledge…..I do feel lost at sea…. in a state of limbo….waiting for my boat to come in, so to speak. The one positive thing that I know I should do is make better use of my time….use all that energy to create the things I want to show up in my life.