Auriol Hays

Awareness through music

Black holes and revelations

Today I feel like the Grinch and instead of driving my neighbors crazy and stealing their stuff I think I will stay in my house until it wears off. I am having one of those days where I doubt just about everything. And just to let you know how out of sorts I am feeling…I can’t even decide what food to give my cats…lol! A while back someone once told me that doubt stops you from becoming complacent; it keeps you on your toes. On days like today I wonder if there is any truth to that…

I will be honest and say that bright and breezy people annoy me. I look at them and the following questions comes to mind….Are they on something? Do they know something I don’t? Are they in denial about the super kakness of their lives and can only cope by putting on a smiley face? Or are they just plain stupid? And what is really sad is that all those questions tell me is how I really feel about myself. They are clues that tell me how I perceive things and people. What I can say without any doubt is that lately my perception has been off. That has been the bane of my existence so far… if my perception is off…how I view events and people will be off…and what I consider truth could be wrong…and all the actions I took as a result of that truth are…off. And that, my friends, leads to more doubt and is the reason why I will be staying in my bed with a book today.

I need to find clarity …so Muse, Radiohead or any blues music is out of the question. No weed, alcohol or chocolates either. I think I will call up my sister instead, put on my serious depressing voice and listen to all her crazy drama until this passes.

posted by auriol in the pit and have Comment (1)

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