When you have just been through a shit patch, just when you think that there is nothing that can ever make you feel as good, when everyone in your life feels like cheaper, jaded version of themselves, when you are so down and out that you don’t even realize it – it takes something wondrous and extraordinary…something so surprising to snap you out of it. Today I discovered MUSE and I don’t think I am going to get any sleep anytime soon. Now aside from their obvious brilliance listening to them reminded me why there is nothing better than being able to create something and give it back to others.
I never understood musicians who get so caught up in their insecurities that it stops them dead in their tracks or the ones obsessed with fame….or the ones who write music and never share any of it. Surely the capacity to create something that affects others and makes them feel good is enough reasons to leave shitty insecurities and fears behind? But hey everyone moves at their own pace and yes, it just takes time to puzzle out your bigger picture.
And yes, I get nervous when I have to sing sometimes…but only when I forget. First off I call in every known and unknown deity out there (lol!) and let whatever’s gonna happen, happen. It takes a lot of the pressure off and reminds me why I am a musician. The idea that someone I out there will find some meaning in my music or words…like I do with my favorite bands….
So when I am in JHB I listen to Radiohead in the car. It reminds me just how far I’ve come. I am no longer that sad depressed chick with issues. I have a record deal and a tattoo to remind me…lol! On a bright and breezy day in CT it’s jazz and blues music. In the new house it’s MUSE because despite everything I was and caught off guard and surprised….