I will be honest and say that I thought EAT, LOVE, PRAY was a crap movie. People were ranting and raving about the movie. From the outrageous “It changed my life” to the demure “I found things that I could relate to”. I was getting rather annoyed by all the hype. And that is rather ironic coming from someone who finds meaning in horror movies! The sad truth is that I was having a narcissistic moment. You see I forgot people find meaning wherever and however they can.
Every now and then my friends and I call each other when we have a particularly disturbing dream. Sometimes, because we know each other so well, the meaning of that dream is rather obvious. Heck, you can even say “You better watch out. I think that dream means you need to be careful of….” Dreams, in my mind, try to give form to all the jumbled thoughts you’ve been carrying around. Yet, people being people seldom take the time to decipher their dreams. I am including myself in that equation! Yes, meaning only comes when you are ready for it.
I remember my first visit to a psychic. I think I complained about the people I was working with. She looked at me and said ,”Auriol, it’s not your job to wake people up.” Basically she was telling me to get out of other people’s business. I know so many women are not only raising their kids but their husbands also. If you think those men aren’t educated you would be very wrong. These men earn good money but on are clueless on so many levels. I have also observed that many men are better husbands and fathers after their first marriage. Why is that? Why can’t we all just make sense of our lives when it happens?
A while back someone looked at me and said, “Auriol, why don’t you believe people? Who lied to you?” If I had the energy I would have answered him. Sometimes I think I have given up on expecting better from people. Luckily, I haven’t come across many scaly people in the music industry. Most of the time I trust my gut. The dodgy ones I avoid. I don’t waste my time on people I don’t trust and I try not to make an issue out of it either. All I can and will do is ensure that I am true to my word. Not because I want to be morally superior but because I know what it feels like when I don’t.
So when those bad days come instead of marinating in my doubt or letting it all hang out in my music, I clip my earphones on and listen to Mahalia Jackson. I love that her voice carries me far, far away to a place where I can find meaning….