Auriol Hays

Awareness through music

God Emperor of Dune

“Woo her Andrew! Sweep the lady off her feet and woo her to hell and back!” Men don’t know what to do with women these days and I blame the feminists for this. Yes, you heard right! Why get a man when you can do it yourself and buy a top of the range vibrator to boot?

While there is nothing wrong with being independent or top of the range vibrators, I do believe that somewhere, somehow we lost the plot. Men are no longer hunting in the deep dark forests and women have long since abandoned their huts. We live in a consumer driven society where everything is easily accessible. Yet the underlying energy and drive that fuels our behaviour has not changed. This is problematic at best and, in my mind, explains why some get addicted to soap operas, chick flicks and bad pop music!

Men are afraid and women are weary. Today a man asked for my number. I was amused, smiled and walked away. Do you want to know what was rumbling through my mind? “I don’t know you from a bar of soap dude!” Maybe if I stopped and spoke to him…maybe if he wasn’t as shy I would have changed my mind. That encounter made me realize that human beings are very strange indeed. We all desire greater connection and intimacy yet rarely know what to do once we find it.

If I am interested in a man I will make sure he knows it. Most decent men, however, do not know what to do when the roles are reversed. They want to feel like men and hunt. This is especially true if the man is use to having women throw themselves at him. My best friend gave me the best advice, “Auriol, just be yourself.” Simple and insanely terrifying. Be myself? Outspoken, a bit off centre, impatient and perpetually uncomfortable with my big boobs? Goodness that’s a tall order…

How would I handle things differently this time I wondered? I cannot be less than who I am or lie about what I need. “Auriol, you need to learn how to play the game!” another friend suggested. The game? What game? What are the rules to this game? When does it start or end? Who is the referee and how does one walk away victorious?

Surely it should not be that complicated? In my mind relationships boils down to this; making the person you care for feel wanted and having that reciprocated. They should always know that they matter regardless. This does not require money. Perhaps a bit of ingenuity yes. While I have no intention of ironing any man’s shirts again I will make greater space in my life – if that opportunity arises.

So damn the feminists, bad pop music and those chick flicks! Not everyone is going to show they care in the same (boring) tried and tested way. I would woo a man with words and music. In my mind there is no bigger declaration than that. I have many friends who have tried to inspire songs by saying really cool things. I always find that rather hilarious. I only and always write what I feel deeply…and if a man inspires more than one song then he is in big trouble!

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